Wedding in Tianjin

Wedding in Tianjin

I got out of Xinxiang for the first time in what seems a very long time to go up to Tainjin for the wedding of the son of a couple we got to know quite well when I was working in Tianjin 20 years ago. Both the trip and the wedding were interesting though it was a very hectic three day weekend.

We took the bullet train to Beijing and then another one to Tianjin. On the way up I sat next to an early 30s couple with a 2-year old daughter. We didn't really talk but I got that they were from Beijing, which was as plain as the very big nose on my face just from looking at how they—I should say she—was dressed. The kid was actually pretty good and both parents took turns watching her and walking her up and down the aisle when she started to get antsy. There were a couple of times when mom lost patience a bit and told the kid that if she didn't shape up mother wouldn't want her (妈妈不要你), a very common threat from mothers here. Of course, these single child city kids know full well very early on that nothing further could be from the truth because every one of them has 2 parents and 4 grandparents vying for their affection during every moment of their waking hours.

The one headache about our route is that the two trains arrive at and leave from different stations and getting from one station to the other is a hassle with Beijing traffic being what it is now. On the way up it was Saturday so the problems were minimal. A number of somewhat pudgy counter-culture looking teens with slightly more daring hairstyles and clothes were hanging out in front of the main Beijing station. Across from the station there was a new shopping mall full of small specialty shops. Well, actually all of them had pretty much the same speciality—selling lots of clothes, cosmetics and jewelry to virtually an exclusively female clientele. Overdressed women of all ages were there browsing among overpriced items as you would see in any upscale urban center in any deveolped country of the world.

Compared to earlier years there was only a small number of workers from the countryside in the square in front of the main Beijing train station. Maybe the migration is taking other forms or maybe there are other modes of transportation such as long distance busses. More likely the later blooming smaller hinterland cities like Xinxiang are now soaking up the rural labor.

Tianjin's air quality was very noticeably poor. It's hard to believe that some of the Olympic events will be held there in just 8 months. A talkative cab driver said that the team sports events that will be held there would happen in climate controlled indoor stadiums. He went on a good bit about how Tianjin is still way behind Beijing and Shanghai in terms of economic development and I'm sure it's true. He pointed to the single storey brown brick buildings that are still everywhere where the pooer types live in between the the 30-40 storey places that are springing up everywhere. He asked me if I was some kind of factory manager and I said if I were we'd be going to the airport instead of the train station. Still when he asked my salary—the inevitable question—I'm sure it seemed like I was a very wealthy person indeed, and by Chinese worker standards I am. He said that his cab salary allowed him to get by (过日子) 'get through the days' but not allow him to buy a flat in the city.

It was something of a comfort to see that the famland between Beijing and Tianjin is still pretty well intact. Both cities are spreading out but more up than out. Lots of the smaller towns in between are building big new housing blocks that are replacing old one and two storey housing. This is a big improvement over US suburban sprawl. Along all the train routes there were lots of trees planted just last fall because they were cropped short before transplanting in the typical manner but had no small branches yet. There seems to be an effort under way to put about 10 meters of trees on either side of the major railroad lines and superhighways though so much more could be done. Every time I drive from Duluth to Minneapolis, I have this same feeling. All the places along the highways could be planted as well as the medians not to mention making wind breaks between the huge farm fields which still blow topsoil away on warm dry days in spring and fall when the crops are off. But since it doesn't turn an immediate profit it doesn't happen. China and the US—two very different countries with so many simliar problems stemming from the same causes, the rush for immediate and maximum profit.

We were at the family's home before the wedding and got to the location too late for the traditional fireworks. Some fireworks displays before weddings are really something. In general, wedding customs, I'm told, are a bit in flux and vary greatly from place to place. During the cultural revolution all the former customs were stopped and now what comes back is a mixture of this and that. (A good example of what happened at that time can be seen in the film To Live 活着)). For example, Tianjin weddings traditionally take place in the afternoon followed by an evening meal, but this bride was from Tanggu, just 75 miles away, where they happen at noon followed by an early afternoon meal. Here in Xinxiang they happen at noon too.

The ceremony was rather brief because people are officially married when the receive documents from the state and don't even have to go to a justice of the peace as in the US. Nevertheless, most people go through something like what we participated in. The room was decorated in pink: a floral arch, a row of small columns covered with pink satin, a pink backdrop with neon blinking cupids, a large candle stand, and pop music love songs in the background. On either side of the room there were rows of chairs facing the center with the closest ones for the immediate family, one side for the bride's and one side for the groom's. A few people wore suits, but most were dressed very causally. The main guests of honor wore corsages and most older women on both sides wore in their hair a kind of bright red barette, which was about 2 inches by about 6 inches separated into three bars with silver stars in it. I take this to be a Tianjin custom. At least I have not seen it elsewhere.

The ceremony was presided over what seemed to be a hired MC. It was really quite short, and in it the couple pledged their love and loyalty to each other in words not unlike any US service. The new couple was then introduced and there was applause at several points. There were words by the MC about the importance of parents to children and the parents and representatives on both sides made statements of congratulations and good wishes. Not surprisingly, however, there was no mention of reproducing and filling the earth. This part of the earth is pretty full already, thank you. After the words there was a quick and restrained kiss-the-bride thing, an interlocking arm drinking of wine and that was about it. There was no dancing, no removing of garters, no throwing of bouquets. A distinctively Chinese feature was the bowing and offering of tea by both the bride and groom to their respective in-laws.

Of course, this is China and the most important part of the day was eating. There were about 25 dishes served at each table of 12 people and all of them were very delicious indeed. The other big part was the drinking of baijiu (白酒), a kind of white lightening about 50% alcohol. There's some of it that goes up to maybe 60% and some only about 35%, but one of my fellow drinkers said that hitting the middle around 50% is best. I'm not a big fan of baijiu because I'm not so crazy about the taste but also because it's a really nasty hangover. Of course, they say the same thing here as in the US: If you drink the good stuff it doesn't bother you. Don't believe it. However, I did managed to leave the place under my own power with all of the food I ate staying in its proper place. A couple of Excedrin back at the hotel got me through the rest of the day.

The ceremony and dinner happened in the same building, a complex of dining halls with gardens called Ding Xiang (丁香), "Most Fragrant." The bride wore white for the ceremony and then wore a lavish reddish pink dress to make the rounds to toast guests at dinner and then changed again into blue. There were about 100 guests and this might be considered a smaller gathering, but again like the US it depends on one's cash reserve and desire for face, etc. I'm told that some get really carried away and might invite a thousand, but such large events are perhaps rare. Also, the more you invite and get invited, the more endless the cost and the mutual obligations that are incurred. After the ceremony the bride and groom headed off the their new condominium and I didn't hear any mention of a honeymoon.

The next day we headed back to Xinxiang by the same route—train to Beijing, change stations and trains, and then back to Xinxiang. The return trip was on a Monday, so the traffic in Beijing was at its worst. When we tried to get a cab in the cab line in front of the main train station to go to the west one, the clown cab driver asked me for 80 yuan for a fare I knew was only 30 at most. I told him he was crazy in a very colloquial way (你疯了), which brought laugher from all the cabbies in line and someone said, “This guy really knows China” (中国通). Well, I know enough not to get ripped off that badly. We went across the street and hailed a cab on the street rather than from the line because this has worked for me before in Beijing. After we got in, the guy popped on the meter as he is supposed to but started going on about the traffic's being so bad and how he'd better take some more expensive but faster ciruitous route to get us there on time. He said I'd pay for the time sitting in traffic or the time on the road. But as a former Chicago cab driver, I know that time on the road cranks the meter faster than time in traffic, so I told him to sit tight. Also, I know that the road to the other train station goes past Tiananmen Square and is very wide after the worst part and would likely be fairly smooth sailing as it was. Even when we got back to Xinxiang a local cabbie wanted to get a higher fare instead of using the meter, so I told him to forget it and slammed the door just before I was about to get in. I suppose he thought I was some foreigner newly fallen off the turnip truck in the big town of Xinxiang. No. In fact, I've been around the block more than a few times. The young fellow who did take us according to the meter had a plastic rear view mirror ornament of Mao Zedong. He said although some people don't like Mao because of the Cultural Revolution, Mao was the one he believed in, "He is my god." Step into a different cab and step into a different China.